Practical predictions from BLANK’s resident soothsayer
The wait is finally over – SECOND BELL IS FINALLY HERE! With so much music and comedy on nonstop display, it may feel like a huge task to pick when is the best time to steal away to grab a Big Bad Taco or peruse vendor row. Though there’s ample opportunities to take in all that the festival has to offer, Madame Weezy is here to home in on your own personal can’t-miss moment – based on your zodiac sign, of course.
Aquarius: Aquarians are creative, intelligent and hard-to-peg creatures. They have plenty of awesome acquaintances, but their inner circles are a bit more selective. Folks who fall under this sign will enjoy a musician that does great work with a group but that also is a fabulous solo artist. They’ll also appreciate someone who can artfully incorporate multiple styles into a tidy package.
2022 will mark the second Second Bell appearance by Pittsburgh-based rapper Benji., who first blew all of us away at Rhythm N’ Blooms in 2019. Way back then, this aspiring astrologer predicted that the guy’s career was about to take off, and that vision since has come to fruition. In the intervening years, Benji. has toured with EarthGang and joined up with Spillage Village to produce some cool, truly unique tunes. Every show he’s played in Knoxville has been hella hype, and this one should be no exception.
Pisces: Though music of course is a huge piece of the Second Bell puzzle, the comedy tent offers a ton of talented entertainers, as well as a spot to take a load off. The good-natured, easygoing fish is bound to find a lot to relate to in the comedy stylings of the equally good-natured, easygoing and heckin’ hilarious Jeff Blank. You’ve absolutely seen this fella somewhere around town, and there’s usually a smile on his face. He tells the most absurdly funny stories with the relaxed cadence of your too-tired-for-everything uncle, which just makes him all the more fun to watch.
Aries: Rams have a battery that’s always fully charged, so the act that’s going to draw them in is the one with nonstop energy. Thankfully, Knoxville’s own Temp Job offers up all the groovy tunes and dancing to keep booties moving. Their funky beats, sassy horns, high-octane vocal delivery and hype stage presence inadvertently makes for a performance akin to the most fun Zumba class you’re ever likely to attend.
Taurus: Bulls are smart, dependable and emit a strong familial vibe. Folks under this sign will be drawn to acts that are established, know who they are and do well and don’t have to try too hard to impress. With a history spanning three decades, Knoxville’s own 30 Amp Fuse are local legends. Their music has an unmistakable mid-‘90s punk-rock sound that pummeled the walls of bars along the Strip, houses throughout the Fort Sanders neighborhood and beyond. Though this show might bring more than a tinge of nostalgia for a bygone era, this band’s music is rocking enough for any decade.
Gemini: The twins are the life of the party! Fun, flirty and the ultimate social butterflies, those who fall under this sign will appreciate an act that’s equally as magnetic and boundary-bending. Producing an intoxicating aura of fake fur, glitter and spastic energy, the core duo behind Knoxville’s own Guy Marshall might look like extras from the rave flick “Party Monster.” When they start to perform, though, they sound much more like esteemed regulars at the Grand Ole Opry. Their songs are pretty, the writing poignant and their stage banter provides glimpses into their wild, loving world.
Cancer: Crabs are super loyal. They’ll discover music they love in the angstiest part of their teen years, and those albums will remain on rotation for the rest of their lives – even if the band members themselves part ways. As a result, the ultimate act for these folks is one that promises to deliver a snowy-day-in-you-know-where, flying-bacon type of performance: the reunification of Knoxville legends Superdrag for a much-ballyhooed Second Bell headlining set on Friday night. Still moody, broody and effortlessly cool even after all these years apart, these Alternative Nation alumni will put on a bucket-list show – not only for local scenesters, but also for folks across the country who have messaged us that they are psyched to be hopping on a plane just for this show. The nostalgic Cancer is bound to make some indelible new memories during this set.
Leo: Lions have huge personalities. They are in charge of any room into which they walk, and they know how to get it poppin’ – but lord help you if you try to ignore their baddassery. The performer that will be able to draw these folks in must be one with a magnetic stage presence that just can’t be tuned out. This year’s main headliner, Big Boi, is just what’s needed to match Leo’s energy. Oozing confidence and possessing a commanding swagger, his is the show that folks around here will talk about for years to come, and it’s guaranteed that you’ll see the lions shaking their manes (among other things) right up front.
Virgo: Virgos are analytical and hardworking, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to have a good time. They’re more likely to enjoy acts that are cerebral and have obviously taken great measures to hone their craft. Actor, writer, comedian and magician Matt Donnelly, the Mind Noodler, is squeezing us in around a full schedule including the podcast he co-hosts with Penn Gillette. The witty comedy Donnelly infuses into his fascinating tricks will be a show that’s as smart as what the average Virgo craves from their entertainment.
Libra: The scales are all about having an interesting and attractive aesthetic, but that doesn’t mean there’s a lack of substance. As a matter of fact, they’re great at digesting and balancing multiple inputs of stimuli. The act they’re going to love the most is one that has both cool-looking and -sounding stuff on stage. Thankfully, Nick Lutsko and the $100k Band are on the bill to offer up danceable beats and imaginative and thought-provoking lyrics, and they’ll put on an amazing visual show, to boot. This will be a crowd-pleaser for everyone, but Libras will especially appreciate the whole package.
Scorpio: It’s undeniable that Scorpios are both intelligent and intense, but did you know that they can be funny, too? Fate blessed this town with the smart, hilarious and downright sexy Brandi Augustus, and she’s been making a name for herself in a city earning a rising reputation for its comedic community. With an acerbic and quick wit, Augustus talks about a variety of topics with the most exquisitely chill delivery like she’s been doing stand-up her whole life. Scorpions will be attracted to this performer’s inner and outer beauty.
Sagittarius: These folks have a bottomless well of energy, and they’re outgoing, friendly and know how to party. If you want to pull them in, though, you’re going to have to put on a show that’s nonstop excitement and makes the crowd feel like they’re on a roller coaster along with the people on stage. Thankfully, the captivating Palm Palm agreed to make a repeat appearance at Second Bell this year, and these Nashville rockers no doubt will put on a show even more electrifying than the last. This band is crazy fun, funky and sure to leave no booty – especially those belonging to centaurs – unshaken.
Capricorn: Practical, ambitious and self-disciplined aren’t words you normally associate with performers. Doctors? Sure. Athletes? Yep. Believe it or not, though, that drive also really comes in handy in the comedy world – particularly when it comes to the grind of touring and writing. Goats will appreciate how comedian Corey Ryan Forrester knows how to work at becoming one of the most hilarious stand-ups on the circuit without allowing his intensity to distract from his goal of eliciting riotous laughter. One-third of the WellRED comedy team, the Buttercream Dream will drop some hard truths while presenting some of the funniest, most-relatable material you’re likely to hear all weekend.
